When Two become One
Developing Oneness in Your Marriage
In the book of Genesis God said it wasn't good for man to be alone so He made him a helpmeet.
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. God knew the desperate need of man and made for him and of him a wife.
Genesis 2:23 And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
In todays society it would seem as if oneness and true unity in the marriage is an ever elusive and unthinkable goal for too many couples. Even believers struggle with developing and maintaining true intimacy in their relationship. It is widely accepted an normal when there is tension and disharmony in marriage and the results from this mindset is a marriage that has settled for less than God’s best. God wants your marriage to be a relationship of blessing and harmony.
Currently, your marriage may more closely resemble a war zone rather than an intimate interweaving of two lives. So let’s look at how we can develop a loving and lasting marriage.
You may be on a second marriage. Maybe you were abandoned by your spouse or maybe it was the result of neglect but never the less you need to know you are special in God’s eyes and He still wants for you to enjoy an intimate and fulfilling relationship with a spouse.
If you have been through a difficult separation and divorce in the past you must be totally and completely committed to your current marriage. Do not lice with the expectation that your marriage will fail. Commit and fight for a marriage that is all you ever hoped for and God designed.
A. Through Complete Acceptance
It is a biblical principle that acceptance is a foundational building block for lasting, intimate relationships. If there is one thing that could improve a couples relationship I would be this… you can not condition you acceptance on your spouse’s level of performance. You must accept them for who they are and what they are. This is the way God treats us.
The church is called the bride of Christ. We have many flaw and failures and are an imperfect bride, Jesus loves and accepts us the way we are. Your spouse needs and even deserves that kind of acceptance. Having a Christ like love means we accept based on love, not on performance.
B. Through Complete Commitment
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
The word translated as cleave means ‘to glue on, to join one’s self closely to, to stick together.’ In the process of making plywood thin sheets of wood are glued together and stack to the preferred thickness and then pressure is applied. When the pressure is removed the glued is dried and set. The product is comprised of many different sheets of thin wood glue together to make a usable strong sheet of plywood. If you try to separate the thin pieces of wood you will destroy the entire piece.
This is exactly how our marriages should be… taking two individual lives cleaving together permanently. To cleave is to make an unbreakable commitment.
1. Make a Commitment to Raise a godly Family
When you get married you have a new purpose - a cause for which you are living. You are no longer a single individual living for yourself. That new cause is the development of a godly family that will bring honor and glory to God.
Every one of needs to recognize that his marriage is a cause. We need Old Testament lice on purpose rather than living a reactionary life. Those type of people are always reacting to a problem and never intentionally turning the tides for a successful marriage.
2. Make a Commitment to a Biblical Marriage
Realizing your commitment is just to the person you have married but it is also a commitment of obedience to God’s plan for marriage. Before the priority of being a husband or wife you have a commitment to being a Christian. You must follow and obey God’s Word in your daily life.
If we take care to ensure that our vertical relationships are in good standings then our horizontal ones will more easily be right as well. We must dedicate our life to obeying and living God’s will for our life.
Never allow yourself to fantasize outside of your marriage. God’s plan is for your needs to be met within the boundaries of your marriage. Many couples have destroyed their marriage be lusting for things outside of their marriage. Wishing for something better than what they have all the while they have completely neglected the spouse God gave them.